Typically you know when things are ending between you and a person . Whether you started pulling away . Stopped showing interest in the other persons life . They stopped asking about your mom and how she’s doing . The way they look and respond to you is almost similar to a stranger but there are warning signs . Big red warning signs that this person no longer wants to be with you . This person no longer wants to be your friend .
What do you do though when there aren’t warning signs ? There are no explanations to why this person left your life ? The person that took up so much room in your fist size heart didn’t tell you why they no longer want to be in your life . Messages didn’t waver until they were no more . They just stopped . Now what do I do ?
I’ve been trying to figure it out these last few months and one thing I learnt is to admit the hurt . Admitting that this dear person stopped wanting to have a friendship with you . And sometimes it’s not you . Sometimes it is . Because I don’t have anything , no reason of what I did. Nothing to go off of . No reason of why they may have stopped speaking to you . You start to speculate . Running everything back in your mind . Pages and layers of memories . Where you could have possibly gone wrong and it’s heart breaking . It’s exhausting .
But the next thing I try to do is instead of speculating(which can be hard not to) , I pray for them and I think of our fond memories . I’m a creature of habit and communication has become so important to me . So even when communication hurts or when I’m told I did something wrong and it feels uncomfortable , I welcome it because that’s how relationships/friendships thrive and grow and sometimes even die .
And the dying part is hard. It’s not that love is lost , it’s just not there anymore . You have a general love for your fellow human but that extreme closeness has been divided by a 1,000 pound door where you feel like you can’t reach them . And you’re exhausted at trying to tear it down and so it stays up . I can turn the knob and open it and say hello . But that’s all . Still , you just love that person so much . And the love has nowhere to go . So you tuck it away in a box , closed tight in the furthest place.
It was expressed well! ❤️❤️